Moving On?

The Civic sold yesterday morning to the first person who looked at it.

I spent the rest of the day stunned, in shock and, oddly enough, feeling a bit lonely. Left with nothing but to sit at my desk, staring at the spot where my car used to be, thinking that maybe I should’ve asked for more, realizing that I neglected to keep a set of keys, but also telling myself that maybe that - was for the best.

I allowed myself one day to mope. Perhaps that wasn’t long enough.

It felt weird to be without my little car, but there were things that needed to be done today; I had to leave the house. In an effort to be somewhat compassionate to my frail sentimentalities I decided to embark on a new adventure: I got my first Zipcar, a Toyota Yaris named Yoland.

Getting a Zipcar for a few hours showed me, again, that I am definitely a driver, not a walker. But it was also interesting to try out a vehicle I generally have little to no interest in. I guess that’s one of the benefits of a car share program. Feel like trying out a MINI? How about a Matrix? Need a truck to pick up that big order from IKEA? They’re all there, right at your disposal.

As for Yoland, he was alright. He was comfy, with a CD player … and ohh, is that how brakes are supposed to react?

As I was driving around though, I couldn’t help but compare Yoland to the Civic. The brakes were one thing, but I kept noticing how the dash was laid out, what the stereo was like. I found myself reaching for dials and handles and controls that weren’t there, trying to rest my hand on a gear shift that was in a different spot. Big differences from the Civic, that’s for sure.

I know this is really bizarre; I don’t need anyone to tell me this. But … I can’t help but feel like I’m back on the market. Forcing myself to get out there, or get back in the game. Am I on the rebound? It almost feels like I’m "dating" other cars, trying them out to see how they fit.

Definitely unexpected.

This was meant to be a post about Yoland and my first Zipcar adventure. Obviously, he just didn’t measure up.

Hmm. Maybe I’m not ready to move on just yet.

Even though there is a 1991 Honda Civic Hatchback-shaped hole where my heart used to be, I know that life will go on. But the grieving process is different for everyone. I guess I just have to take it one day at a time.